Anecdotes and Jokes About Vladimir Putin

Today, a few anecdotes and jokes about the beloved leader of our neighboring country came to mind. Since they are fresh in my memory, I decided to share them with you, my dear readers. So, here you go!

* * *

A high-ranking officer who fought in Vladimir Putin's army led his unit so effectively that the Ukrainians were forced to retreat several kilometers. Naturally, the president was pleased and invited the officer to the Kremlin.

There, he told the hero that he could ask for anything as a reward for his actions. The man replied, "I don’t want anything. I just ask that you don’t mention this to my friends."

* * *

God was angry about the hostility humans held toward each other and decided to destroy all of creation. After some thought, however, He chose to give humanity one last chance to see if there was still kindness, goodness, and love within them.

So, He appeared to a Frenchman and told him of His plan to destroy humanity the next day. He also asked what the man intended to do before then. The man replied that he would get some fine wine and prepare a delicious meal to enjoy with his wife, and then make love to her.

God was pleased and decided to also appear to a Finnish man and share His plans. The Finnish man thought for a moment and said he would first go to the sauna with his wife, enjoy some good beer and sausages afterward, and then make love to her.

God began to doubt the idea of destruction but decided to also ask Vladimir Putin what he planned to do before the end of the world. Putin thought for a moment and declared that he would immediately order his army to invade Georgia so that Russia could conquer it before the apocalypse.

* * *

Vladimir Putin believes he has made himself indispensable to Russians and the world. Because of this, he has been deeply concerned about what would happen to the world, Russia, and his wealth if he were to die.

One day, he summoned his trusted lawyer and expressed his concerns. The lawyer opened his laptop and asked the president to dictate his will. Putin began: “If I ever die…”

* * *

In early September, President Vladimir Putin set a goal for the Russian forces: the expulsion of Ukrainians from Russian soil by the beginning of October.

However, it is now early December, and Ukrainians are still holding large areas in the Russian Kursk region. Clearly, the goal Putin set in September has not been achieved. His position is, therefore, reminiscent of his role model Joseph Stalin, who in 1939 issued a guide for Soviet soldiers on how to reach Helsinki in two weeks — only to fail completely in capturing the city.

Previous thoughts on the same topic:
Did You Know That 1952 Was a Turning Point in World Eras?
Putin Set a Goal — Failure Would Be an Embarrassment
Tractor course for Ukrainians

Football-Associated Violence Is a Personality Problem

I have always wondered how sports can drive people completely out of their minds. Football, in particular, has been and continues to be exceptionally effective in this regard.

A recent example comes from Guinea, where a referee’s decision displeased part of the audience. This sparked violence that led to the deaths of dozens of people and, ultimately, the burning down of the local police station.

Guinea, of course, is a developing country, but football has also caused European and even Nordic sports fans to lose control from time to time. For instance, in Sweden, police had to intervene in a total of 24 matches in 2023 after situations spiraled out of control, with officers themselves becoming targets of violence.

Football is famously the world's most popular sport. According to Wikipedia, it is played by over 250 million people worldwide and is also the most-watched sport on television.

For this reason, violence associated with football is a serious issue. This is underscored by the fact that, in 1969, El Salvador and Honduras engaged in a military conflict triggered by a football match, though tensions between the countries were already high.

It was therefore intriguing to see that a recent scientific review article suggested that numerous psychological factors are at the root of football-related violence. These include personality traits, empathy, and materialism.

Research has also identified a positive correlation between sensation-seeking tendencies and sports violence, as well as a mitigating effect of cultural intelligence and tolerance on the likelihood of people resorting to unruly behavior during football matches. Among these, tolerance stands out as a particularly significant factor.

It seems, then, that it might be better if some individuals refrained from following football and redirected their interests elsewhere. This would benefit not only football players and other spectators but society as a whole. 

Unfortunately, I believe they don't want to do this – and precisely for the same reasons why they should.

Previous thoughts on the same topic:
Everyone has the right
Violent demographic changes in Denmark
Increase of violence by youngsters in Finnish towns

Criticism from the Left Brought a Small Association’s Independence Day March into the Spotlight

Finland’s green-left politicians have harshly criticized the participation of two Members of Parliament from the government’s Finns Party — Teemu Keskisarja and Sheikki Laakso — in the annual 612 event held on Finland’s Independence Day (December 6). As a result, both MPs will forgo attending the Independence Day reception hosted by the President of the Republic, Alexander Stubb.

Ville Niinistö, a Member of the European Parliament from the Green Party, which is firmly positioned on the political left, commented on X (formerly Twitter) that MPs from governing parties form part of the government’s parliamentary majority. According to Niinistö, "if the government allows its MPs to openly support a far-right event that demeans the Republic’s independence and democracy, it constitutes an international-level scandal". He also called on Prime Minister Petteri "Orpo to take action".

Similarly, Minja Koskela, chairperson of the Left Alliance, wrote on X that she is curious to know what Prime Minister Orpo thinks about the actions of representatives from his coalition partner, especially after all the government’s proclamations against racism. She stated that "when two MPs from the Finns Party choose a far-right-linked march over the liberal President’s reception, it is a serious matter".

* * *

The 612 event has been organized annually since 2014. Initially, it attracted only a few hundred participants, but during the large wave of immigration, attendance surged to thousands before later declining back to a few hundred.

Among the organizers were, at least initially, several actors perceived as far-right. Conversely, far-left groups have, at times, sought to disrupt the event, even resorting to violence.

According to the event’s website, its "sole purpose is to celebrate Finland’s independence and honor the sacrifices made by previous generations. Participants are encouraged to respect the non-political nature of the event by leaving all political and other symbols at home. The organizers emphasize that societal inequality and political polarization have already driven a wedge between Finns. In uncertain times, the greatest strength of a small nation is its unity."

Furthermore, the event is organized by the 612.fi association, and participation is open to all who wish to celebrate Finland’s independence and honor the efforts and sacrifices of past generations. The only permitted emblem, flag, or slogan at the event is the official Finnish flag.

It remains to be seen whether the comments from the green-left bloc will have any impact on the government’s actions. However, one thing is already clear: as a result of these remarks, the 612.fi association and its march have received more publicity than they could have ever hoped to achieve otherwise.

Finally, it is worth noting that Niinistö’s and Koskela’s comments do not appear to align particularly well with the spirit of freedom of speech or freedom of assembly enshrined in Finnish law. However, this is not particularly surprising coming from the political left.

Previous thoughts on the same topic:
The Green Movement is Withering – And That’s Not a Bad Thing
Demonstrations cause trouble in Helsinki and Sweden
Independence day of Finland now and 83 years ago